#WagePeace: Tackling Conflict

Warfare is so last millennium. It’s a new dawn — a new generation. We wage our way.
— X

1. Strategize

  • Set your objectives
    • (Hint: the goal is not for you to win and them to lose)
    •  1) To make an ally 2) to prevent/stop harm 3) to solve the problem
  • Know the problem
    •  (Hint: it’s not your own opinion on the problem)
    • Conflict happens for a reason. Ask why? What are the facts?
  • Know your ‘opponent’  
    • (Hint: not to take advantage their weaknesses)
    • Why do they feel the way they do? What’s important to them? Where do you have similarities? Listen to understand not to convince! Respect ≠ agreement.
  • Know yourself
    • (Hint: you are not all knowing)
    • Why do you feel the way you do? What if you’re wrong? What will make your life better?

2. Armor Up

  • You choose how it affects you
    •  Deflect negative emotions and words -- don’t internalize them. Accept your feelings; then move on. Don’t give them power over you by allowing them to change how you view yourself or behave. Being tough requires tough skin.
  • You choose how you respond
    •  Lashing out might feel good in the moment, but does it help you achieve what’s needed? Your actions. Your choice.

3. Aim True

  • Attack the problem not the person
    •  Don’t take the bait, get distracted, or take cheap shots.
  • Keep your eye on the prize
    •  Forget your different positions. What do they really care about? Think family, security, being understood...etc. Together, come up with ways to get what you both need/want.
  • Prepare to reassess and reload
    •  Rome wasn’t built in a day. It may take many interactions and tactics. Sometimes you may miss the mark, but keep at it. Peace is a process. And the most powerful transformations start under the surface.